- breaking toddlers’ kneecaps
- Writing youtube reviews for a profession
- Making an app that alerts you of sex offenders and Chinese (1st generation) in the area
- lap dances with wolves
- wizard porn
- Ben Franklin pushing someone to death
- The Frothy Gozinya
- Samuel’s Gompers
- Talking like its the 1920’s whenever you get nervous
- Granny Devito
- Immediately playing dead any time you see a Korean
- internal farts
- installing strobe lights in retirement homes
- Medusa’s Snake Vaginas®
- Susan Shlangthistle
- building 30,000 mosques next year in Iowa
- Carbonated Onion Juice
- all i want for christmas is lobster claws for hands, lobster claws for hands, lobster claws for hands
- fashioning your entire wardrobe out of tree bark
- filling a CamelBak with bloody mary mix
- dodging the draft by saying you have “weak stream”
- Twinkie & Manwich stew
- Old Mother L. Ron Hubbard
- Making vinegar slushies
- financing movies by recycling bottles of mountain dew code red