Disturbingly Random

  • Exfoliating Racial Cleanser
  • Sir Squirtsalot v. Sir Squishington
  • 16th Century Bible Translations and the Yoghs of Doom
  • Spermicidal Tendancies
  • Happy Henry’s jerky bean stalk
  • Bob Dole is the ghost of Christmas past
  • When Sally met Harry’s whiskey rage
  • Sausage, Egg and Eleanor Roosevelt
  • “pickle bumps”
  • Yeast infection canoles
  • Marilyn Manson and Donnie Osmond
  • drunk driving for dummies
  • Jon Voight’s skull
  • capital punishment whiplash
  • Tum Tum hosting cock fights in his mom’s bedroom
  • Billy Crystal Meth
  • Having “Juggalo” as an ethnic box on the Census
  • ian’s meatball sandwich brigade
  • The Wilford Brimley Massacre
  • drinking vats of melted butter, churned from fluids of nicolas cage’s cat, mittens
  • What’s she saying? There’s no salad bar here
  • Chester Cheeto and the Crapshoot Nebula
  • Terminator’s no-good, very-bad day
  • Newt Gingrich demands 20 sleeves of Fig Newtons daily
  • Ben Franklin pushing someone to death
  • Milkman’s stepdaughter
  • Miracle on Elm Street
  • Thombrosis for Dumbies
  • Mammogramobile
  • Squigs Bentley and the Supreme Wieners
  • Runningbacks with leprosy
  • Karen Carpenter and the Jupiter Sitar Queens
  • fond of iggy pop’s hair dresser
  • Alright Gumshoes (shoes) (shoes) (shoes)
  • flatulent butt triscuits
  • Pope Declares War on Virginity, Himself
  • No one remembered to bury Heath Ledger
  • Curious George’s late-life ephebiphobia
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