- Exfoliating Racial Cleanser
- Sir Squirtsalot v. Sir Squishington
- 16th Century Bible Translations and the Yoghs of Doom
- Spermicidal Tendancies
- Happy Henry’s jerky bean stalk
- Bob Dole is the ghost of Christmas past
- When Sally met Harry’s whiskey rage
- Sausage, Egg and Eleanor Roosevelt
- “pickle bumps”
- Yeast infection canoles
- Marilyn Manson and Donnie Osmond
- drunk driving for dummies
- Jon Voight’s skull
- capital punishment whiplash
- Tum Tum hosting cock fights in his mom’s bedroom
- Billy Crystal Meth
- Having “Juggalo” as an ethnic box on the Census
- ian’s meatball sandwich brigade
- The Wilford Brimley Massacre
- drinking vats of melted butter, churned from fluids of nicolas cage’s cat, mittens
- What’s she saying? There’s no salad bar here
- Chester Cheeto and the Crapshoot Nebula
- Terminator’s no-good, very-bad day
- Newt Gingrich demands 20 sleeves of Fig Newtons daily
- Ben Franklin pushing someone to death
- Milkman’s stepdaughter
- Miracle on Elm Street
- Thombrosis for Dumbies
- Mammogramobile
- Squigs Bentley and the Supreme Wieners
- Runningbacks with leprosy
- Karen Carpenter and the Jupiter Sitar Queens
- fond of iggy pop’s hair dresser
- Alright Gumshoes (shoes) (shoes) (shoes)
- flatulent butt triscuits
- Pope Declares War on Virginity, Himself
- No one remembered to bury Heath Ledger
- Curious George’s late-life ephebiphobia